Back To Reality


I shouldn’t be blogging. I really don’t have time right now. I am the sucker who acquiesced to a slumber party at Chez Abs tomorrow night instead of simply shelling out the big bucks for Sky Zone gig. What’s more the soon to be turning 8 P1 has told everyone, and specified on the hand drawn invitation, that it’s a theme party. Not just your garden variety Frozen party – Anna and Elsa are like soooo lame once you pass the age of six. P1 is opting for a retro classic with a touch of  psychedelia – Alice in f*&king Wonderland! I suppose I should be proud. It would be a rockin’ idea for a 25th with no parental improvement.

Rest assured the bong will not feature at P1s party.

Rest assured the bong will not feature at P1s party.

Here’s the thing about theme parties at this stage of my existence – in the immortal words of Sweet Brown.

Notime med

The reason I barely I have time to scratch my toes (I sit here with itchy toes as I write) is that I have recently joined the ranks of the employed. I’ve had a hefty dose of the reality that everyone else is complaining about. To all you working mothers out there – before I sympathized. Now I fully understand.

Where do I begin with this topic? Getting out of the house on time in the morning contains enough stress for the entire day. By the time I have wrangled the girls into their uniforms and implored them to brush their teeth for the millionth time I’m exhausted. I’ve discovered that children simply getting dressed is an event that defies the laws of physics. Breaking the light speed barrier is easier.  The regular catch cries in Chez Abs are “stop jumping on the bed, singing Everybody Dance Now and get dressed”, or “stop flashing your butt and get dressed” or “stop hitting your sister and get dressed”. Then when after an epic struggle they do get their basic uniform in place they refuse to put on their jacket. This is especially the case when conditions outside are Antartic. Lets hope global warming will soon relieve me of this problem.  Of course the second we get out of the door someone will have to go back and fetch some forgotten essential item like a hat or a library book.

The house is in a permanent state of disarray because household duties has fallen to the very bottom of the priorities list. More to the point I’m too much of a tight wad to fork out for a  cleaner despite the urging of many friends and  acquaintances. The hiring of domestic serfs would take a hefty bite out of my unspectacular remuneration making the whole thing unworthwhile.  First world problems – I got ’em.

Perhaps I can justify a cleaner after all.

Perhaps I can justify a cleaner after all.

Meanwhile dont get me started on childcare. I thought having two kids in school would save me some coin. Sadly what I’ve saved in long day care is being chewed up by after school care. Earlier in the week I had heart dropping moment when I say my bill for Vacation Care. Its going to cost me more than I’ll bring in for the fortnight (plus the gosh darn pupil free Monday on the first week back). Normally I could have rationalized this set back. However it came the morning after the devastating events of the Game of Thrones finale. I was despondent about Jon Snow* and the bill shock was too much for this fragile petal to bear. I would have run straight for the chocolate alas I am on a diet.

The Mummy guilt thing is kicking in. The kids often tell me that they don’t want to go to after school care although they usually appear to be having fun when I pick them up. They are constantly imploring me to collect them early. Extracurricular activities during the week are virtually off the agenda and the homework window is narrowing. I have an irrational sense that I am curtailing my kids’ potential.

Yes Mummy guilt is being felt. Luckily the guilt is counter balanced by the fact that my job isn’t exactly glamorous or high powered. Therefore I get to juggle Mummy guilt with a deep seated sense of career failure. As Hannah Montana sings “its the best of both worlds”.

Excuse me while I spend my last couple of remaining hours off this week cleaning the house.

How’s work life balance travelling for you?



Don’t read this next little bit if you care not for Game of Thrones.

* Are you butt hurt about Jon Snow? There simple has not been enough internet discussion about this very important issue over the past week. This world contains two types of people a) those who are obsessed with Game of Thrones and b) those who don’t get enough crumpet in their televisual diet.

I fall well within the first category and I am totally butt hurt by the events of the recent finale. My pain makes no sense given, as the purists repeatedly point out, Jon’s death was in the f&*king books and no one expects him to stay dead. He’s not even my favorite character for Chrissake. That honour goes to Tyrion. Anyhow I am butt hurt nonetheless.

Game of Thrones has form when it comes to killing off smokin’ hawt characters – Robb Stark, Oberyn Martell etc  however Jon Snow was exceptionally, astoundingly, ridiculously, improbably hawt. I don’t know how he could have spent so much time standing on that 700 foot ice wall without the whole thing melting and raising sea levels around WestorosHe is that darn hawt.  Really by rights the lands beyond the Wall should be a tropical paradise by now given Jon Snow’s proximity.

Secondly we’ve sat through five seasons worth of hints about Jon Snow’s parentage and potential possession of dragon wrangling power. It’s the world’s worst kept secret that Jon is really a Targaryen and hence has a direct claim on the Iron Throne.  We were all speculating that he is third head of dragon as per the prophecy yada yada yada. But gosh darn if he is really permanently dead this theory will crumble to ashes and means that someone inevitably less hawt is the real third head of the dragon.

Thirdly Jon Snow is one of the only people who has an idea of the true gravity of the white walkers situation. The very survival of the realm is at stake and Jon was critical to its defense (by virtue of his mystical powers and Valyrian steel sword). The realm will have to rely on Team Daenerys now and Lord knows they have issues.

Got Meme



19 thoughts on “Back To Reality

  1. No kids which depresses me most of the time, but I guess I need to remind myself I’m also lucky in many ways!

  2. I take my imaginary hat off to you – and all of those who work out of the house with kids. I struggle to do all the things and I work from home. Teeth brushing a drama here too, I have decided to make it my job, so I drag all 3 in – brush their teeth, apologise for my crankiness and look into their chubby faces and kiss them. Then it’s back to marching them out the door like a drill sergeant! Just keeping swimming B you’re doing a fab job xx

    • Thanks for your kind words but the truth is I am doing it way less tough than most. Working from home is equally as difficult. Whilst you dont have the travel time you’ve got the distractions to deal with.

  3. THE WRITERS OF THAT SHOW ARE DEAD TO ME. And in other matters….. All crappity crap aside, I hope you’re enjoying your new role and am very glad to see you still blogging (and more prolifically than me, I might add). The world of crumpet needs you.

    • Thousand – no millions of people claim to be done with Game of Thrones. Mark my words – around 80% of them will be back because of all the other crumpets.

  4. Oh Mumabs I have missed you! I don’t have anything practical to offer as after working full time for the past 9 years I still struggle with all the same issues (except in our house it’s doodles that are being constantly flashed. A butt flash would be a nice change!). But I think that’as the way it is – you just get used to the constant pace and so do the kids and then eventually it’s just LIFE if you know what I mean? Regarding house work my only advice is start delegating NOW. kids can put washing away in their draws, set tables, unpack dishwashers and generally be taught to pick up after themselves. Husbands are harder to train in my experience but you must persevere! Now that you are working the family must become a team otherwise you will go mad. And at the end of the day just think – we may be in the trenches but when it comes down to it we wouldn’t change it for quids would we?

  5. I’ve bitten off a bit more than I can chew myself at the moment. It will all hopefully fall into place next month but in the meantime, something has to give and the blog is it. Not giving it up entirely just cutting back for a little bit.

  6. Oh gosh, yes working outside of the home whilst wrangling kids is just a headfuck of guilt. And yelling. And leftover crumbs on the ground. We have black tiles and a mini foxie for the very same tight-wad, refusal to hire a cleaner reason you’ve mentioned. May I recommend just painting your tiles black? Even if it doesn’t match the house at all- the shit that invariably makes it’s way to the floor is completely hidden! Until your feet turn black from walking on it and then you kinda realise you might need to clean. Hope your new job goes well- once that routine is in place it doesn’t seem so bad. Or maybe that’s the copious amounts of wine talking (well, when I can drink wine, this is how we cope here!).

    And omfg seriously John Snow! Whhhhhhyyyyyyyyy! The author has just done it so many times now, that I just sat there, numb to it all. I’m now trying to stop my attachment to Tyrion for self-protection.

    • Many fans believe that Tyrion is one of the three heads of the dragon – hence he probably doomed. Jaime will probably kill him or some shite. Anyhow I am gravely concerned for Brienne of Tarth. My deepest fear is that Ramsey will get her. My deepest hope is that she will dispense of Ramsey.

  7. Isn’t there a witch coming who resurrects people? Or am I in denial? I was devastated. I woke up on Tuesday morning feeling very depressed. Yes, I hate Ramsey more than I hated Joffrey. I liked him in that video the crew made for charity though. Did you see it Mumabs? Jon Snow can bloody sing as well as being hawt.

    • Yes of course I saw it. “Wildling you take your bow string.” It totally rocked my world. Meanwhile it has to be said that the dude who plays Ramsey (Iwan Rheon) is one heck of a great actor and a total honey bunny IRL. Loved him in Misfits.
      Yes – there is much conjecture that Jon Snow will be resurrected by supernatural means. Kit Harrington said he was not coming back next season. He didn’t say anything about not coming back in Season 7.

  8. 8 year olds don’t care if the house is clean or not, and en masse they’ll just trash it more, so don’t stress about that (until after they’ve gone.) They can drink out of tea cups and write a few labels saying eat me and stick them to their dinner plates – then order pizza and ice cream and be done. Theme party, mother of the year.

  9. Before-school routines do my head in! We have to be out of the house by 7.20am in order to get the school bus, and honest to God most mornings I am getting into the car with barely simmering rage. Every single morning I wonder why we have to go through the same shite – have you brushed your teeth? Have you done your hair? Have you got your shoes on? Got your lunchbox, water bottle and hat? And then repeat. And repeat again. And yes – that sibling love masked with hitting each and (oh no!) looking at each other…

  10. OMG – LOOOOVE GofT and couldn’t believe it when they killed him off. Thinking of reading the books and getting ahead of the game now.

  11. My boys were at a home party yesterday and the house /yard was a bomb. Seriously , the junk in the backyard and front was dangerous and one boy came home with a 10cm scratch. SWinging on the clothesline was optional and permitted as long as they balanced (so my boys told me)
    The kids had a great time and she only invited everyone the night before.
    Her bathroom was cleaner than mine though.

  12. Oh I here you. Yep mother guilt and Oh shit just remembered another load of washing is in the washing machine Gah. Heading back to work is tough. Hang in there and who cares we don’t eat off the floor. Zoe xx

  13. a) Kids in the morning: faaaaaaarrrrrkkkkk… how hard is it to get dressed, eat breakfast, brush hair/teeth and pack your bag? Mine are 16 and 10 and managing those steps in order and in time to leave the house on time still doesn’t seem possible. Every. Single. Day. It’s. Farking. Groundhog. Day. While I get myself ready, make their lunches, load/unload dishwasher, hangout and/or fold laundry, sign school notes, find money for neverending array of school and after school activities, scoop up cat poop from the litter box, blah blah blah. Sigh. I’m going to curl up and suck my thumb in the corner now.

    b) Jon Snow. WHYYYYYY????!!!! What sort of sadistic pricks are these GoT writers? While I’m reasonably sure he’ll be resurrected in some form (probably by that horrible witch bitch because see comments above regarding GoT writers) why do we have to be punished like this? Sigh. I’m going to curl up and suck my thumb in the corner now.

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